I just want to say a quick hi and hello to my fellow students of the
graduating year 1997.

At the time, school felt like the best thing going, and now when i look
back, it really was!
Hanging out all day, talking to your mates all day, having long lunch
breaks, skipping classes, actually learning something new and interesting
every day. It all doesn't seem so bad.

So i guess, kiddies who read this STAY IN SCHOOL, 'cause working is
BALLS!!!!!!!!!! Also go to university and then do your masters. The longer
you spend at school the better off you will be! money isn't everything, so
doing something fun and productive with your time is better then the
"daily grind".

so any norwoodians who read this and know me from school, send me an
email! i would love to know more about what you are up to, i never got to
speak to everyone at reunion!

stay safe, stay happy and most of all stay the hell outta Ringwood!
;)

It would seem, that i have made an expensive mistake.

Damned if i don't heed my own instincts...

oh shiz

Right now, i am *loving* Jay-Z's "Lost ones" track.

Letting go of people and past to get to the real you, the real future.

"Lose One, Let Go To Get One
Left One, Lose Some To Win Some (oh Yeah, She Lost One)
Sorry I'm A Champion, Sorry I'm A Champion
You Lost One"

granted i am not a fan of the video for this song. I was hoping for something a little more sincere... not much camera movement, just jay being introspective. but eh, this is still a stand out track on the album

see it here!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g41NGF6xTEA

(i would do a direct link, but my work has blocked youtube. bless their hearts)

shout out to cassie and meg for this one!

if you want to read their discussion on this ever hilarious topic, check it out here!

Finally BrotherBen has started his own little blogspot. Taking his rightful place on the innerweb and telling us all sorts of useful things!
You should check out his brownie recipe, and i prefeer to make them the lindsay lohan style he has suggested!!!mmmm bourbon.

ANYWAYS! check it out, he has pictures of the concerts he works on and he may even give you info on who is touring before it hits!

Look On My Rider

brotherben is awesome

He really is...

I am convinced that hype williams has gotten his hand on some of the worlds greatest acid and it has made him take a trip back in time when everyone loved tektronics and dee-lite video clips



one clip in this style was ok, but now its ridiculous and it needs to stop.

Barnarnia

I finally saw The Chronicles of Narnia and i rate it.
talking beavers, fawns shaking the snow off themselves and philip the horse.

:) good times!

Gold is better than pocket change

This post is only for me to get out of my head what i am thinking - so therefore its a total me me me whinge emo post. if you dont like that, then fck off.

I am sick and tired of being taken for a fool.
People who use me when they need me, but refuse to give anything of themselves to me.
I put myself out there, with no intentions and i am constantly let down by the fact that people are so egotistical.

I hate it, and i hate them.

I'm taking a leaf from their books, and a little self indulgence is the best way to go.

If you were to make a choice between being blind or being deaf, what would you choose?

My answer comes very easily to me. I would choose to be deaf.
I adore colours.
I dream colours, i day dream colours, music makes me see colours, my world is colourful and the people i know colour it.
Without colour, i don't think i could actually breathe.

Happy Valentines Day everyone.

Valentines Day - some say it's a day that was made up by flower and
chocolate companies. I'm not so cynical yet, it's still one of the best
days to tell someone you care - esp if you haven't the guts to tell them
any other time of year!

:)

unfortunatly i still haven't been able to say it in person to him yet.

Happy australia day everyone!

hugs and kittens from me!

xxoo

After being reminded to update these two lists (thanks David - vigilant as
always) I have now updated both brotherben's list and my own. I made up
brotherbens as he is working at Australian Open and wont have time. Plus i
think i know what he thinks is cool anyways.

There were alot of things i wanted to add to my list, but i didnt want to
go crazy there - so here are the few that i missed!

HOT:

malaysia - without a doubt this place is fantastic. Well its only cool if
you know Suzi and her family. They really made the place brilliant.

Nasi lemak - omg so yum. same with banana leaf breakfasts, sweet coconut
pancake and lime juice drinks.

thailand banana pancakes. hello! they drown them in SWEETENED CONDENSED
MILK?!?! :O that is the BEST THING EVER! david and ben know how much i
love the SCM

house parties. I'm loving these more than nightclub parties.

brotherben. he is always hot. :)

work gossip. I love this stuff. It makes everyday under the flurescent
lights a little easier to cope with.

fresh fruit. if you dont like fruit, then i dont like you. cept for rita
from LTD. she is ace but isn't into fruit.

people leaving comments on my site. i love that stuff! i love knowing some
people read this and have something to say. i ALWAYS think about what
everyone writes, and it never goes unnoticed.

NOT HOT:
wow.. my list for this could be a mile long but here we go.

japanese fetish. Ok its true, i dont get it. I work in a company and am
surrounded by it, and the boys love all things japanese. I love the anime
but i think it stops there. I dont get it the adoration for the country,
but im sure if i ever visit my mind will be changed - but for now thats
not hot.

no airconditioning in cars. really it is ass

anberlin tickets selling out. man i shoulda bought them early!

BDO lineup. Im not keen but im working on the day anyways. Lets hope its a
suprise day that all goes well and turns out to be awesome fun.

people being nasty. they suck all the time.

formal shorts. i hate them. shorts plus high heels does not equal high
fashion. if you wear shorts, wear some thongs with em. we're aussies, so
really, who are we trying to impress?

:) enjoy those tidbits from me! im sure i hate alot more, and love alot
more than i said.
feel free to add your own to the comments section below!!!

DO IT! DO IT NOW!

http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com

slowly but surely i am putting up my holiday photos. There were alot more
than i remember, alot may be blurry, some overexposed but all of them of
the things i thought best to photograph; the people, the buildings, the
animals and us having a holiday of a lifetime.

These photos will never be able to capture the feelings or the moments,
but they are the best way for me to convey the time i had.

http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com

the last post i made about the comment made to me has gotten me thinking.

Maybe to some degree this person was right. Maybe not with the words but the sentiment hit a nerve, only becuase there is truth in it.
I'm not old in any sense of the word, i am young in my age, young in my thinking and young in my views. But the point that i should step aside for someone else was the point that hurt. It's true. I should step aside, the possible outcome for the scenario, in all honesty, very likely won't be in favour of me, and deep down do i really want this anyway?

Confusion is something i have been battling with for a couple of months now. confusion on whether to stay or go, confusion on whether to commit or to remain alone. Alot of confusion on whether the simplest things mean alot more.

I think im searching for depth in a puddle.

*oh and just to clear it up, im not a man hater as someone commented. In my life i try very hard to not be a hater of any kind. It so easy to slip into the pattern of hate and it just breeds and infects all areas of your life. Right now that is the last thing i need - and well as far as i am concerned, its the last thing anyone needs.*

im 25, and i have been told i need to step aside and let the faster, stronger and younger take what i couldn't get.

seriously... thats one c*nt of a comment.

don't you just hate it, and i mean really LOATHE it, when someone says to you "i think we need to have a talk".
whether it's at work or in your personal life it is one of the all time worst things.

I was wandering around just chillin and the BAM!

person: "um look. I think we need to have a talk..."

me: completely taken aback and startled "um sure, like um, yeah ok just give me the word"

now i am just playing the waiting game, waiting for the inevitable talk which without fail will ruin my day, week and possibly the rest of january.
I don't like being made to sit and stew and think about things. i will over-analyse everything that has been done and said just in case i need to come up with some excuse or explanation of my behaviour, which is more than likely the main reason for "the talk".

Why can't people just come out and say the things they need to say?
why can't it be like this:

person: "hey beck, look can i just be frank with you for a minute? I just have to say that i don't really like the way you spoke to me and it was rude and you should really think about someone else other than yourself for 5 minutes. It would be nice and yeah, i just had to say that"

me: flabergasted of course "yeah sure thats like totaaly cool. sorry for what i did and heck, lets go get a vodka!"

now doesnt that seem sooooo much better. so next time you want to tell me something, either email it, or come out and say it. Don't give me any leeway time to think about what the hell is going to come out of your mouth.

So it has been pointed out on more than one occasion that my English and grammar are a little lacking.

Sometimes when I talk the words don't come out right and my nouns, adjectives, present tenses and past tenses all get tangle and tied up.

I am often corrected and made to re-word my sentences, when im trying to make a point I'm stopped and told to think about what im saying. It is becoming a problem, well I guess it is a problem.

It's sad, ive always wanted to write well. I love adventures and telling stories and its hard when I can't get them out, to tell people. It's the biggest way I show love and admiration. Everyone knows the people I care for. They are easy to work out as I have a million stories about them, I talk about them non stop!

So another new years resolution: to get better at English! (yes im aussie, my first language is English.. yeah go figure!)

"You're special
You're like a rocket through me"
mew - special

I did something i had never done before.
The night was a very very strange evening and i had to take a drive.
My mind is still wired and buzzing, not letting go of any thoughts, feelings, dreams i held so strongly while i stepped out of normality into holiday mode.

so standing on the beach at sunset with the breeze picking up the sand into the air - i waded into the warm ocean in nothing more than my knickers and bra. I was so overwhelmed with the urge i had to be in the ocean. i had to swim, feel the cool on my face and taste the salt on my lips. there really was no stopping it.

after, i was laying on the cold sand i was able to realise why. I left melbourne with a red ribbon around my heart and thought that time away would help clear my head. I thought that being able to see distant countries, new people, smells, sounds would untie the knot - or at least make it looser.
it didnt. I still have it wrapped around me.
whether its good or bad, i am not sure, but its there, always.

heh, i guess im just another girl with a dream, a picture of perfection in her head.

laying on the sand in my smalls, that is what i came to realise.
he really is special to me.

Well i have now been back home for about 4 hours now, the stuuupid plane was delayed 50 mins in KL, and so when we landed in OZ, we arrived with 6 other airlines. so the hour wait in baggage and customs was just delightful.

but i guess i must admit, i was pretty sad sitting in KLIA all by myself. saying goodbye to henry wasnt hard as i knew i would see him in a few days when he was home, but i think it hit me that he wasnt there when i was by myself.
i really did feel like crying. i think it was a mixture of exhaustion, and coming to the end of the holiday and being homesick.
i did get teary when they were talking about what time it was in melbourne. all i could think was that brotherben and dad were sleeping and mum was on her way to pick me up and all i wanted to do was see them. it made me all choked up, just hearing the time and weather in melbourne.

emotions are so bizarre like that, as in the past day or so i was very ready to come home. my bag was super heavy, i had gifts for everyone already bought and packed, and we had made it back to KL to say a proper goodbye to everyone - i was all set to go. but sitting in the airport i didnt feel i was ready to go, like not only was i leaving henry behind, i was leaving me behind.

this holiday was dramatically different to my frist trip to thailand. mainly as i was with henry things were very different. i loved travelling with him, dont get me wrong but there is always something with being on your own and completely responsible for yourself, seeing sights and scenes and not being able to talk to your mates about it till you get home and by that time the memories have a whole new feeling. its just so different. but im glad i did it, im glad i saw jo get married, im glad i watched suzie be all demure for a couple of hours then pass out on the floor on nye, im glad i met norainey, harry, mariam, ishmeil, shocku, lynn, adelyn and ezra (ezra you are just crazy like suzie and its perfect!), im glad henry loved thailand as much as i do and im glad im home safe with my family.

i have work tomorrow, now thats going to be one heck of day. but i do promise that in a day or so photos will be on fotopages, and in the next month flight49 is being rebuilt to be a WHOLE lot nicer!

i love you guys who read this, and thanks for reading these posts while i was away. i know alot of people travel and you only hear form them when they are home - but i love letting everyone know what im doing, the memories and stories fresh in my mind!
plus writing about travelling while you are travelling is like taking all your friends with you - that way, no one gets left behind.

the sugababes said it right, i have a "one-way ticket to a madman situation" in every true sense of the word. Work is right around the corner, and i am excited to go back home to work (whats WRONG with me!!) and i am very very bittersweet to be leaving thailand.

The last day we have arrived in bangkok on a late night bus, luckily! got a room at Vientai (the hotel i stayed in last time - hot water, baths, english tv, plus the kicker for me its not on khao sarn road!) as some people never checked in and we are booked for 2 nights now.
we dropped our backpacks, stepped outside and headed to khao sarn road for some dinner and to buy new backpacks each. it weas intense! we had yummy street stall pad thai and then got new backpacks for $20 so a real bargain.
oh also in this time, henry had managed to lock his key in his room. spaz.

tuk tuks are a wicked experience in themselves, we dont really haggle when we get on them as we knowthe ride is seriously going to be kickass fun! our one tuk tuk that took us pat pong markets was CRAZY!!! he was swerving all around the roads (the 4 lane main roads!) peddle to the metal and all those sayings were totally appropriate.
we held on and just laughed and everytime we had a chuckle the guy drove faster and moire eradic. it was just soooooo much fun. better than tuk tuks in the more humble streets of kanchanaburi.

pat pong market spun us out a little, mainly as i knew my bag was pushing the limits and that i couldnt buy much, yet we still had so many gifts to buy! so trawling the stalls and sayjng no to the many sex shows we finally got our loot and had to get outta there. too much pat pong is not a good thing. lady boys, hookers, drugs, alcohol, stall owners, pimps and foreingers are never a good mix for long... plus i was starting to considering getting some booze from one of the go go bars but it was just a bit too seedy to soon for us. (tonight perhaps!)

we finally get back to our hotel with another super fun tuk tuk ride from a cutie young thai man, and henry hs somehow managed to lock himself out of his room. truely a tard.

i am really getting sad as we leave tomorrow and head back to KL to spend the last 2-3 days with our friends. we esp cut thailand short to see them so i really should cheer up a little about it! haaha

also just want to say a massive massive massive thanks to my dad. he is the BEST! stuck in kanchanaburi i had massive problems with my airline ticket home, and he sorted that we are able to fly home from KL instead of bangkok for us in only a matter of 2 hours. THANKS DAD WE BOTH LOVE YOU HEAPS AND WE CAN TAKE YOU TO PENANG COFFEE HOUSE WHEN WE ARE HOME!!!!

see you all soon, i plan on having some drinks when home and when im over being sad im home. :) im sure you will all understand.

love you all.

Ive decided after the very very small amount of traveling i have done, that i adore thailand. i love it! i love the big busy city, where everyone has a place to go or something to do. it never gets boring.
and then the country side, the towns that are few and far between, little townships that only have a motorbike repair place and a convenient store.

one day, i counld only hope to live here. one day....

and retire to langkawi. sit on a beach on an island away from everyone. my own little private lagoon and mountains to explore.

ahh this place turns me into such a dreamer!

i heart it here, and am saddened to leave in only 3 days! it just isn't enough time to see what is on offer here.

hey everybody!

HAPPY NEW YEARS wooOOOooOOooo. I hope everyone had a wonderful new years
and kissed someone they like or hugged someone they cared about.
i did. it was a bottle of red wine! hehe

Our new years in Kuala lumper was looking to be a chilled affair. we
couldnt get into the city centre (4 hours traffic jams.. um no thanks) so
we stayed at the house and rang in the new years with MANY celebratory
drinks to various countries around the world. first we started with
Australias new years - 1 glass of wine, then 5 mins later Fiji new years -
1 glass of wine, then Tanzania new year - 1 glass of wine, 1 glass of
honey vodka... fast forward to Malaysia new years and we were pretty
hammered!! a very funny night indeed.

but now we are in thailand after flying for an hour and half, being on 2
different buses for 2 and half hours and a cab ride for half an hour we
are at the bridge over river kwai about to go check out the tiger temple!
hopefully they eat lunch before we arrive... or else see you channel 10
news tomorrow!!! (kidding.. dont worry mum, dad, ,brotherben. we will
behave)

so yeah.. thats all i can update you with, as we ar in the midst of
airline ticket problems, ,dodgy internet cafes, and trying to find
accomodation for tonight! yay for spontonaity qand being a backpacker!

love you all and wish i could have kissed you all on new years eve!
beck

ps. my bag is 17kilos!!!!!!!!! :O i have to stop shopping!!!!

so this is the quickest and laziest photo post ever!
i have no way of editing the pics to be smaller, or even fixing up how
spaz we look, but i guess that is the fun of being on holidays and having
a 1gig sd card, and a spare 512 sd card!

so here goes! (yeah yeah copy the links into a new browser window.
seriously i cant be bothered doing this properly plus everything in
singapore is the same as aus, so that SUCKS!!!!!!! (stupid singapore)

Langkawi:
we went to a underworld seapark, so while exploring i found this guy
http://www.flight49.com/malaysia/me and penguin.jpg

Batu Caves:
a monkey gave me a fright, i swear it was running for me and was foaming
at the mouth. it was my first "outbreak" moment
http://www.flight49.com/malaysia/me and monkey.jpg

Karaoke Kids: <-- spelled right now!
christmas day karaoke session, i think this was hour 5 out of 6
http://www.flight49.com/malaysia/karaoke kids.jpg

Langkawi:
this was the white beach that we went to, it was lush. Looked like
something from the movie The Beach, except when we were leaving the
monkeys came to where i was laying, and i had another "Outbreak" moment,
stupid monkeys.
http://www.flight49.com/malaysia/henry beach.jpg

Langkawi more:
this is me on the beach, tanning it up. Little did i know that in a mere 4
hours i would be sunburnt. ahhh hindsight, you are my greatest frenemy.
http://www.flight49.com/malaysia/me on beach.jpg

planes trains automobiles:
ok here are some lame-o-rama shots on transport!
http://www.flight49.com/malaysia/me on plane.jpg
(flying to singapore and henry was sleeping so i was bored)

http://www.flight49.com/malaysia/us on ferry.jpg
this is us on the ferry leaving langkawi. it was the best as we both took
a row of seats up and laid down. so chilled. plus we are assies and cheesy
photos are our schtick!

OK ENOUGH from me, it has taken ages to remember my SSL login, and
passwords to put the pics up and its almost SINGAPORE ZOO TIME! meerkats
and flying squirrels here i come!!

hey as well, you can all leave comments on www.flight49.com under each
blog. the little comments thing is dunzo, as it was lame.

love you all. email me news from home. just read kezza packer died, i
wonder if he left me anything? ben do we still get turkey at xmas now????

someone email me laurens yahoo email!

i hate being homesick but i just can't help it.
Yesterday was the worst, i checked my emails and it made me long to see all you people back home.

Its funny, i cry and whinge all year on how i want to see countries and the world, but as soon as i even take two steps away from home all i do is long to be back.
I always want what i leave behind.

:( nyaw. poor me. i had to go buy laksa to help feel better, and dang it worked!
Laksa in Singapore = the best!

Hi kittens,

the past few days have been wild.
After our 5 hour drive through the country side of Malaysia we ended up in
Penang for Joanna and Nicks wedding, the SOLE reason for us coming on this
trip. It was just gorgeous, set in a hotel ballroom seating around 350
people it was decked out in orange and silver - the brides favourite
colour. They had already had the traditional ceremony in a mosque in
adelaide, so they didn have part here, they did however have the
traditional musilm blessing ceremony where the family members bless the
couple with what i assume was holy water and herbs. They were seated on a
big stage infront of everyone while the bridesmaid and best man fanned
them and catered to their needs.
Joanna looked just divine. Her gown was white with silver crystal beading
all acros the front and a crystal tiara and alot of diamonds and glitter!
Nick donned the traditional malaysian costume had a wicked little dagger!
Us aussies were all impressed with that. ahh simple pleasures!

With the wedding over with it was dawn on christmas day! so we grabbed a
quick nap and then woke a few hours later to find santa had brought us...
nothing. stupid santa. so we had cristmas breakfast in a coffee house (no
it wasnt starbucks all you haters out there!!) so that was dissapointing
and after we had finished crying into our mocha iced lattes we decided to
spend the day singing our blues away in a KAREOKE BOOTH! fast forward 6
hours later, and we had a microwave turkey dinner and had sung our hearts
out to britney, madonna, the venga boys, phil collins and even a little
celion dion. i have some funny video of this, and no we werent drunk.

Today we arrived in langkawi after getting home from kareoke at 2.30am
with only 4 hours sleep and an hour nap on the boat, this place is just
divine. A postcard everywhere you look (as long as you are looking away
from the chunky white british tourists)
tonight i watched the sunset while laying in the ocean. aah so take that
people at home ;)

loving you all alot , and yes im home sick terribly.
off to singapore tomorrow to see the animals at the safari zoo and to
stick some chewed gum to the walls.

love you kits! byebye

So 24 hours in KL, Malaysia has been, um, a total spinout!
Our flights were all good, blah blah only people who gladwrapped our bags
blah blah.

7 hours after sitting on the plane we arrive at KL airport, and are
quickly shunted with Suzi into the pleasant KL air... hahaha. ok its
muggy, sweaty, humid and henry thought he was melting hot weather, it was
certainly a shock... then we hit the road! road rules are a serving
suggestion, and the speed limit negotiable so we hit 120 and we were off!
30 mins later we are at Suzis house and her mum had us take a quick 20
mins to settle and get our heads together before we were put back into the
car with the destination being a local wine bar in the city!

after oohing and aahing Petrona Towers from the car window, we took our
tourist looking selves up to a bar and were sat down with welcoming cowboy
shooters care of suzis mum!!

soon we realised we had crashed the Malaysian Idol's (yeah malaysian
version of american idol!!!!) birthday party that was filled with models,
tv hosts, a tv producer and various malay cuties! also a bunch of recycle
40year old women pawing the youngins!

shell shocked from the glamourous ones, we then headed out and had
gizzards and seafood on sticks in the street! totally yum but very weird.
falling in to bed was a relief at 2 in the morning

so 24 hours has passed and i love it here. not much a culture shock just a
big ol realisation that malaysian food back at home aint got NOTHING on
the food here!

speak to you all soon. i now finally have a phone card and will call
people. stupid mobile phone not on international roaming! brotherben - can
this be fixed? email me!

kisses and hugs
sweaty beck

So tomorrow i fly out to Malaysia with Henry for the holidays and to say im super psyched is an understatement.
We fly into KL where we will be greeted by Suzi and then taken back to her flat in the city for our first big night in the city!

I wish you all a very happy holiday time and hope you all have spend the time with people you love.

and a MASSIVE shout out goes to Joanna and Nick, this is an amazing time for you guys and really, congratulations to you both!

kisses and smooches and see you next year


ps. lauren i hope you feel better soon. :(
i buy some MAC makeup for you to cheer you up!

"five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes - how do you measure a year?"

It's been one HECK of a year.

I have been working for a reputable DVD production company learning a heap of new skillz from audio and video encoding, dvd mastering to spotting minute video flaws.

I learnt how to play hacky sac

I had a massive life consuming crush and for once, didn't do anything about it.

I learnt how to run without collapsing out of breath after 10 mins!

I joined a gym and actually go on a regular basis

I learnt how to drink wine, and then how to stop drinking so much!

I realised how much i love my friends and how much i need them, and in turn how much they need me. It's been a tough year for the gang!

I had a massive massive birthday party and halloween party. i dont think i learnt a single thing from these events except how to spend money at the bar, how i can't keep it together when drunk AND emotional, that the drunker i get, the more high pitched my voice gets, and that mixing rum with tequila shooters are never good.

I remembered how much i love my cat casper after she hurt her leg and i cried to a receptionist at the local vet on the phone!!

How much i love brotherben, and as per usual he is one of the biggest reason why i am frightened to travel! I can see it now, my phone bill when im on holidays over christmas is going to be ridiculous

I actually now really enjoy foreign cinema, and i am in love with our foxtel connection

Seeing friends get married and the first birthday of baby ben and the birth of baby sebastian, my two new best friends!

So i am measuring this year on a multitude of moments, stolen glances, tears i've cried, the massive belly laughs, the hugs i have gotten, and the kisses i have enjoyed. over all, its been a great year and i look forward to next year with arms open, eyes wide and naive, and a past year of experience to help me through.

I'm counting down the days till I leave this year behind, this country behind, my job behind, and in a way i will be leaving myself behind as well.

Holidays are something i have only really just recently learned are absolutly sacred!
It has been just over a year since i went to Thailand, the biggest trip of my life, and i am DESPERATE to get out and see more of the world.
It is now 3 and a half weeks till Henry and I jetset to Malaysia to see our gorgeous friends Joanna and Nick get married in Penang. Not only are they getting married but they are pregnant as well! And more good news is that our friend Suzie (who is Jo's cousin) has just gotten engaged so we will be ringing in the new year and her engagement together in KL.

Not only are we sharing some very important days with our friends but we are also escaping the grind of every day life. Not that our lives are particularly stressful or bad, its just i feel as this last year is coming to end that my eyes are becoming more and more closed to the beauty and brilliance of life, basic everyday life.

Stress at work has made it hard to sleep at night, and so when i am able to sleep a solid 6 hours without waking up i am reminded how life is just speeding past me.
This holiday i plan on chilling out, relaxing, swimming, seeing the sights, breathing a new air and sleeping 10 hours!

15 months ago i was just a girl who had never travelled overseas, who had no idea how big the world really is, who lived travel experiences through the books i read, and now i am just starting my travel life and i am very excited!

gosh imagine how im gonna be when i do a big 2 year round the world tour!! haha im gonna be soooo annoying!!!!


GOD DAMMIT HENRY I WANNA BE OUTTA HERE NOW!!!!!! :D
fake prada handbags here i come!

Dear brotherben,

I honestly think that i have been blessed to have been given a brother who is so amazing, kind, caring, funny, utterly ridiculous and excellent! Not only are you my brother you are also the best person i know.

This life wouldn't be the same without you and each and every day i am glad that we are close and that you in my life.

long story short - you rock the mic!

Love your only little whinging sister
Beck





photos from his birthday party dinner

Check out the photos here!



So i went and saw Kelly Clarkson last night. I wasn't looking forward to this concert very much. i am more excited for Hilary Duff! hahah i know i know SHUT UP!
but let me say i wish i were more excited for this show as it was brilliant. Her voice was just overwhelming. She sounded hot, every note was on spot and the energy on stage was projected easily to a very hyped up crowd.
I got to meet Dr Karl from Neighbours, saw Mark Holden and heard Anthony Callea was in the building! woo go melb celebs!!
and rogue traders = not bad at all. i hate izzy but her legs are hell long!

Rocked up with Casey, Daniel, Tracey, Linda and Mattles. Our seats weren't fantastic but we had a clear view and the screens let us get some decent photos.

*ps. kelly if you are reading this, you should wear shoes on stage. I know you love to rock out girl but PLEASE wear them! please please please please!

Check out the photos here!

Wow. I have just started reading some of her poems that she has written, and... wow.
Sarcastic, cutting and straight to the point.
I am not one for poetry, i have never really been able to grasp the what is good poetry to what is bad. Not really one for english in general, it was an odd feeling what came over me while reading some of her work.
I guess the only way to describe it was a sense of understanding and knowing.

Here is a little except on her work:
"American short story writer, poet, and critic, a legendary figure in the New York literary scene. Parker wrote sketches and short stories, many of them published in The New Yorker. Her column, 'Constant Reader', was highly popular. Parker was especially famous for her instant wit and cruel humour."

Untitled

I wish I could drink like a lady
I can take one or two at the most
Three and I'm under the table
Four and I'm under the host

-- Dorothy Parker




Unfortunate Coincidence

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

-- Dorothy Parker


I will always remember being told that "Men don't make passes, at girls who wear glasses".

I am considering going overseas next year for an extended period of time.

I have only ever been to Thailand like every other Aussie and am keen to check out more of the world.

So what is it like where you live?
Is it good enough to travel too? are the people easy going and friendly?

Let me know about your town and i will add it to my places to visit!
Or if you have been on holidays, where do you recommend visiting and if you worked overseas how did you go?

I am desperatly looking for advice, friends in other countries, people who have worked overseas and how they coped, how much money did you have before you left and how you dealt with it all.

ANY advice would be kosher! :D

So far places i would love to see are: Japan, China, Cambodia, Russia, Israel, Egypt, Spain, Germany, France, Prague, U.K, South America and good ol NYC.

ADVICE KITTENS! GIMME GIMME GIMME!

Aries March 21 - April 19

You keep insisting that your love life is nobody's business, but the nice men and women in the lab coats are just trying to help you make more pandas.

oh my god. wow.
this show has now become my FAVOURITE concert i have ever been too.
energetics, they played for 2 hours WITHOUT a break, lots of old school songs, the best of the new stuff, the soundtrack songs (natural born killers, and the crow) and trent looking magnificent.

SETLIST:
wish
sin
line begins to blur
march of the pigs
something i can never have
hand that feeds
with teeth
terrible lie
burn
closer
reptile
home
the frail
the wretched
dead souls
suck
love is not enough
the day the world went away
gave up
hurt
you know what u r
star fuckers
head like a hole

i have more pics on http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com

have you ever felt lost?
like a piece of drift wood floating in the ocean, you know you once had a place and that you were necessary but now you are just floating, in a big ol open space and you dont really know what the hell you are doing.
i mean that is if drift wood could think...

I feel like the drift wood. im just floating around, not really going anywhere or doing anything.
I work every day, i make money, i am part of the system, a teeny tiny cog in a massive machine.

My main problems is i tie myself to an idea or an ideal and chase it. I chase it like mad to see if i can get it, and then it just slips through my fingers and i lose it and myself in the process.
I adore taking on new challenges, be it a person, a task, a job, a new dream. i ravish the thrill of the chase. I soon tire of the chase and then i find i have nothing, its like this thing consumed me and without it i have nothing.

have you ever felt lost? Do you guys put on an idea and wear it like a tshirt and then when you are over it, you take it off and have no idea who you are?

how do i fix that?

The other day i had a discussion with a workmate about what he prefers, cinema or art. This is due to the Melbourne Film Fest being on and he is seeing quite alot of movies and i found it to be very interesting.
I myself could probably sit through 1 movie and about 15 mins of another before i got so bored i had to get up and do something. There is something about being in a cinema that i can only handle for so long before i have to be somewhere else. I think its the expected silence, the irritating noise of candy wrappers and chip packets and plus once i have finished off my jumbo sized movie coke im ready to run a marathon, and start a bar fight.

The co-worker was adamant that the only reason i prefer art to cinema was due to the fact that i watch "shit movies". Granted the last movie i watched was "house of wax" as i was desperate for some scare action. He believed if i watched some decent cinema my mind would be changed. He said its more than an instant emotional hit, and easy story to follow, if the movie is filmed a certain way, and the direction and acting is good.

I do love a good movie, dont get me wrong, its just i really do prefer art and galleries. I guess art allows me the simple, most very basic pleasure of using my imagination. I wonder do the people in the paintings want to be there, are they happy, where have they been and where are they going? I can make a million and one stories of their lives by looking at their painted eyes, the wrinkles around their mouths, or decifer what the artist felt when they used red tones.
I love old art, impressionism, biblical art, entire fables played out in one picture.

so to sum up, art lets me use my imagination, which in this day and age is something i lack to use as much as i should, and cinema gives me the instant emotional hit and feelings i probably lack in my real life.
why watch a movie when you can go out and live it?

Well Lauren and I braved the wet weather and were lucky enough to see Delta Goodrem. (if you don't like her, you can go cry and moan elsewhere).
She is a stunner! and being the bitches that Lauren and I are, we both agreed she needed a tan (been in Britain too much with hottie boyf!) and that her second costume needed to be remade. But other than those 2 minor complaints we had an awesome time.
Our seats were front row at the end of the catwalk so we had prime viewage.

My favourite standout songs were "Last night on earth", "the analyst" and "electrical storm"

After the show, we went to severs and ran into Darryl Sommers!  we had a yarn about the show but we just wanted to ask about Dancing with the Stars and our dislike of Suzie Wilkes!

Delta takes 5

A week or two ago i had to visit my grandmother.
I love my family, i really really do, but this was something i was dreading. alot.

My grandmother is a widow who is suffering from i think alzheimers, or some kind of dementia, im not really sure. She is pretty much the same, just says stories more than once but she knows who we are and where she is all that jazz, so i guess its not too bad. But since she is quite old now, she had to sell her home and move into a retirement village / nursing home. My father was worried she would be hurt and he wouldnt be able to help her if she were home by herself.

So she is now in a nursing home about 15 mins from my house.

now i bet you all think, yeah yeah i bet she was just frightened to see alot of older people, see where she will be and frightened of getting old etc etc. Its not that at all, well not really.

I am frightened at hospitals as well, the same sense of dread comes over me, i will do ANYTHING to avoid going if i can.

The reason is i hate the smell.
The smell of medicine, disinfectant, cold floors, bleach, the mixture of people and of course the smell of cold new death is very present. And i hate it.
It's like the smell is thick, and sits in my throat and i find it hard to breath. I start to nervous and anxious.

Luckily i went to the nursing home with brotherben and he knows how random i get at those places so he told me to "snap the hell out of it" and it made me feel a little better for being so silly, but the smell was still there, in my throat choking me.
My grandmother seemed well though, happy in her little room, happy to sit by a fake fire and think of old times, happy to have cake and tea while playing cards so i guess thats the main thing. I did however buy her a room air freshner that smells like trees and forests. :)

do you have any of those irrational fears? some people hate spiders, bugs, flying, heights, i guess i hate hospital smell. :)

So i went to Greendale on the weekend with my pallys and we shot guns.
as per usual i was meant to spend the weekend shopping at chadstone for new clothes, shoes and a myriad of crap i dont need but want for some reason, but instead i drove to the bush, killed a log with a shotgun and drank vodka while having chats with the gals.

:)

check out the pics here!

I have updates for the delta concert and a heap of other stuff coming too! just been WAY too busy to put em up. also gonna update fotopages.
ring a ding ding kittens!

I love you.
I just don't like you anymore.

sometimes i wonder how i make it through each day alive and in tact.

im a spaz.

I just rolled my chair over my new sony headphones, and now the cords are kind of mashed and the wires are exposed. Good thing is they still work.
Bad thing is they are only a month old and cost me $98, and i have no idea how long they will last now with the wires showing and being all mashy.

gah!!!!!

Giving good advice is something that not everyone is able to give.
Unlike blood, money and semen its not the easy to dish out when someone is in need.

My good advice for today is to not live every day like its your last. Thats pretty adventageous isn't it.
I believe you should live each breath like its your last. As one day it will be.

I have no understanding of when people say that they aren't ready to die, they havent lived the dream, they haven't gotten that job they have always wanted, never worked in the industry they love, or travelled and seen the world, never driven a car, never bought a house, they don't feel "completed" etc etc.

I don't really think you are going to sweat those little things on the other side, you will be more pissy if you haven't told someone you loved them, hugged your mum just because she was standing near, laid in your bed warmed by the love of another.

I know that i am ready, i dont need a day anymore, each breath is worth more.

BUFFY CONVENTION IS THIS WEEKEND!

the boy and i are gonna rip it up at the buffy con this SUNDAY (so if u wanna meet me, meet me there! i will be one of the hundreds gawking at our fav stars)

but the weekend will be effectively a buffy-thon. on saturday i propose to watch our fav episodes back to back, covering the best of season 1 - 7. then we shall sing the musical, and dance around.
then for a break, we might drive around listen to the soundtracks while saying our fav onliners. even play a few "who said this quote" games.
then convince brotherben to get us tix to the james marsters gig on saturday night. then sunday is convention, then after convention i know i will watch more buffy eps. preferably the ones that make me cry.
and then of course Big Brother eviction followed by some ANGEL episodes until i get sleepy then its bed with a buffy fan fic novel.

ahh what a great weekend i have coming up.
i cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also i will have photos on fotopages from it too!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!

well its time to finally admit it. Coming to terms with something that has long plagued my 25 years upon geebs good earth.
I get shy when in front of a camera or having to be in the limelight.
yes yes i know i hear you all moan "but you have a fotopages CRAMMED with ridiculous photographs of yourself in many embarrassing poses" yes well, shut up.
Those pictures are different, they are taken when i am usually drunk or hyped up on sugar and alkaloid caffeine.
and again i hear you cry "but you have a month dedicated to yourself and your birthday", and again i say shut the hell. That is different. Celebration of my birth isn't being in the limelight, its about um, celebrating something great. shit.

I digress, and am making no sense.

I dont like public speaking. I loathe it. In school whenever we have to give a talk about something i would die a little inside, and begin to sweat profusely.
I would have done anything to get out of it but getting out of high school without a fail was a smidge more important that avoiding the talks. so i battled through.

but for some reason, i know i hate the limelight, i keep signing myself up for things that require it.
deep down im a famewhore SCREAMING to get out, but i am too nervous and shy to be one.
It sucks.

I have signed up for some photoshoot at work for our new clothing range. Now i did this LAST MINUTE. there have been emails sent around for the past few weeks about it and i have deleted them all. It was just a last minute decision where i thought, if i dont do it i would regret it. And me being all about having no regrets (apart from that time i made out with the 15year old *jk a little*) signed up.

and so it has been done. and i sucked. i hated it. having to have my make up done, and then stand infront of people (fair call it was only mattles and that was no biggie) but i felt like i wanted to die. I walked out of there smiling and laughing on the outside but on the inside i had planned a quick getaway and had already mentally paid for a ticket to peru. DANG!

I am nervous for the day i get picked to speak at our monthly meetings here, secretly devising witty things to say and planning to sit in the darkest corners of the cinema so people think im not there.
:(

public speaking or public being sucks! no wonder i would never go on big brother, even when i would adore 3 months of doing nothing, i just couldnt. lining up in the audition process would be enough to make me turn around and go home, pack some clothes into my car and attempt to drive to china.

ARGH! so note to astred, public speaking for nest = hell no. unless there is vodka and chemical sugar involved i aint doing it!

without a doubt this is one of the BEST MORNINGS EVER!!!

thanks to ooda, the new love of my life, and his knowledge that i love Sarah Michelle Gellar has let me know of some VERY good news.

SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR IS LOOKING TO PLAY ALICE IN A MOVIE VERSION OF THE GAME ALICE!

like omg.
I am being deadly serious when i say i just rang brotherben with tears welling in my eyes at the thought of such a brilliant mix.

My favourite book ever is alice in wonderland and in my top 5 favourite movies of all time is Disneys Alice in Wonderland and i am an owner of the game ALICE.
I adore the Lewis Carroll tale, alot. I have an copies of both Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking glass, and i have annotated versions, the golden book of the disney version and a few other little alice related things. I just ADORE IT.

and now to mix something i adore with someone i adore is *weeps* pretty fucking good.
I actually think i need today off work so i can look lovingly at pictures of SMG and read Alice again.

My heart is so close to bursting, i am going to ring my mum in a minute and tell her too.

I love you ooda for telling me this news, you are a part of this fabulous morning.

What would make this a brilliant morning is if i got a bottle of Carl Christian perfume or someone decided to buy me a marc jacobs bag.

im so happy it hurts.

If they make any kind of alice related theme park i will do what i can to move there and live there.

*weeps some more* my drink of right now happiness would be something like a pimms and lemonade... ooo god so happy.



ARTICLE
"The long-awaited film take on the Joysticked accessory "Alice" is finally about to get underway, with a lemon-haired ex-vampire slayer inheriting the first mate's quarters.

Sarah Michelle Gellar will star in Universal's twisted take of the Lewis Carroll classic, says Variety.

The project - originally set up at Dimension - will be directed by Marcus Nispel, the man who yanked Leatherface out of retirement for the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" redo.

In "Alice", adapted by Erich and Jon Hoeber, the title character (Um, that'd be the Buffster) returns to a dark and dangerous Wonderland after the murder of her family and the destruction of the family abode. It's in Wonderland that Alice must confront her fears before she can return to - and again, what's the definition of.. - a 'normal' life.

A film version of the game, created by American McGee, has been in the works since 2001, at which time Wes Craven announced his plans to bring it to the screen. "Everything that we can take from the game, we will steal, and then we'll bring even more to it. I'm sure this will be a big CGI picture, and we'll try to duplicate as much of the sort of wonder part of the Wonderland as we can", Craven said at the time.

Those rumoured for the part of the foxy heroine at the time were Eliza Dushku, Heather Donahue ["Blair Witch Project"] and Natalie Portman.

In 2002, It was announced that Milla Jovovich was in talks to play Alice. She said back when that, "I'm actually meeting with Wes Craven's people to talk about what they want to do because they have the rights to Alice." As far as I knew, she's always been attached. Ah, but Buffy's got a bigger stake, hasn't she now? On ya Scooter Mill. "

there are 3 boys who are very jaded and opinionated.
They now share a blog together.

http://www.cubiclechronicles.com/

who & why
Ben, Dave & Lee
It's probably a question that people could resent the most. It can be asked once or a million times before it can snap a persons will to remain calm and collected.

um this site pretty much is like talking to them in real life. they are all usually whinging about something, or talking about cars or farting.

plus you can leave comments! ring a ding ding! (you cant do that here cos frankly i care not for your thoughts/opinions/anything. oh wait, i have a chatterbox... shit)

anywho.
here is another link
http://www.cubiclechronicles.com/

and ben you were crying about batman, now dont get me wrong, i love michael keaton but in his BATMAN movie Bruce Waynes parents were killed by the joker and in all the comic books he was killed by a junkie bum.. so the newest batman got it right and is more true to the batman story. plus, katie holmes = cutie.
i dig on christian bale though.. hot dang he is nice! i prefer him weilding a chainsaw and killing girls though.
hot guys + cinematic violence = beck happy movie watcher!

i have digressed again...
read cubicle chronicles so ben doesnt whinge that i didnt link his site

I ate a whole packet of JILA mints last night, work up at 4am with killer tummy pains which then resulted in not being able to fall back asleep. I thought i was dying again (same pains as the past 2 saturdays yet i wasn't hungover or had been drinking Mai Tai)

so today i'm in a right nasty mood, nothing is working out.
I am a week ahead with my work which is yay but meant i had to do overtime when i didnt need too. talk about ass suckage.

and realised jealousy is a very bad colour on me. it so doesnt complement my complexion. and it's causing me to frown and get unneceesary wrinkles.

though one good thing is today i realised if i work hard to the end of the year i have enough money to get me to England via asia, russia and europe without having to work. ring a ding ding.
that is unless i dont go to malaysia. dang. what to do.

and BAW is annoying me greatly.
ARGH!

whinge whinge whinge cry cry cry

when i think of something cool to write about i will. but for now its whinge city bitch!

I continue to entertain
that it's all ok

these thoughts, feelings
and rushes of blood to the head

I give them form
i give them breath
i made it real

these thoughts, feelings
and rushes of blood to the head

So i sit and watch
I wonder why
the two never match

well on top of having a crazy nightmare of being in some random bathroom that looked like a fun house and then time stopping and starting and not being able to see faces in paintings and for some reason calling out to willow (who am i? buffy now!?) last nights dreams were intense.

Im not usually one to remember my dreams. not at all. nor am i one to share them very often.
but last nights were weird.

I was at a house, a 2 story old style house that i can easily say was either out at Anglesea on the old family properties out there, or to another family members house up in Sassafrass.
It was an old dark wood house and the leaves were crunching on the ground beneath my feet.

I was there waiting for someone. It was his house i was standing out front of.
i walked up to the road and it was dusty and a gravel road. His car flew around the corner and parked VERY close to where i was standing.
He said go inside and i did, but omg, i was exhausted. so we went upstairs to his room which was like a massive living room/bedroom.
I laid down on his bed and got under the covers. for some reason i was in my pj's now.
I went to sleep knowing he would be there soon, and i was just kinda waiting.

Then it felt like i was waiting but he didnt know i was there.
i woke up suddenly and looked at the clock (i think i did this in real life too) it was 4.12am.
I looked at floor and there were like 2 stick insects there all being sticky and stuff and also on the doona near my face was a huntsman, a small one. i got a fright so i sat and shook off the covers.

His mum came upstairs and said it was time to wake up and so she can make the bed. i got up and stood near the stairs and all over a sudden she picked up the doona and there were like 4 or 5 stick insects there now and a lizard.
i peaked and shreiked cos the lizard came towards me, and i stumbled down the stair.

then all i know is i was being awoken by 3AW breakfast news
:|

seriously, if anyone knows what this all means then please let me know.
it did my head in.

i totally forgot to do this! Ben Bailey sent it to me

Looks like this is the latest blog fad, being memed.

Total volume of music files on my computer

1.7 gig. (far out thats nothing!)
on my iriver i have 8gig


The last CD I bought

NIN - with teeth (am buying BEP next week)

Song playing right now

Delta Goodrem - Almost here on iriver but not listening to it as im testing audio for DEAD MAN, so its Neil Young


Five songs I listen to a lot/mean a lot to me


Massive Attack - unfinished Sympathy (background song to every big moment in my life so far. plus it works wonders on killer mixtapes, plus i love it. )

Tori Amos - Precious Things (makes me think of brotherben and skipping around an old house in Rosebank in QLD)

John Mayer - 3x5 (if this song doesnt make you want to change your life and see the world, fuck knows what will. plus it has nick memories and beach memories and love memories)

Nin - Were in this together now (i love trent. i love nin. this song makes me want to fall in love and be angry about it)

Pulp - Do you remember the first time? (heh.. dont we all remember the first time fondly? or well, not so fondly :) this is a brotherben song too but not in that way ew. you people sicken me.)


Five people to whom I am passing the baton

Crozblog - An interesting read by Craig Rozynski, a fellow Australian who's star seems to be rising in the design world.
(I STOLE THIS FROM OODA cos it was a good answer!)

umm how about ASTRED yeah astred can do one. she is hell cool. plus she makes me laugh. and her hair and eye make up is always looking good.

david johnson simply because he irritates me greatly. DOSHMO RAWKS. p.s be nice to casper next time :P

i dont really know many people with blogs... i need to make more friends.
so if you wanna come out and drink with me, EMAIL ME. i will need to get a background check first but yeah once you hang with me, then start a blog and i can like, send you this thing to do. SIK!

PPS. i really like soy milk in my coffee. its like those new UP n GO breakfast drinks. except this is like, in a mug and not a drinkbox. ahh its the simple things that make me happy.

Have you ever wanted to shed your skin
and become one with the fog?

A ghost everywhere i go
i really am nowhere without you

ok so i am sorta psyched for the new black eyed peas album. Esp after seeing them live and performing some of the tracks, but i have to say i think i am becoming some old skepticl cynical gal. I hear the tracks esp the song "PUMP IT" (it has top 1 single written all over it) and all i can see is it in a Ipod commercial. I wonder if apple have already bought the rights for it? i wonder how that works but i BET this song will be in a Ipod commercial before too long.
mark my words

Black Eyed Peas - pump it <-- ipod commercial waiting to happen.

why does apple have to ruin everything! :P

aw geez. of late money has been doing my head in, ROYALLY!
See the reason for this is, with my 2 new babies i am now feeling a little strapped for cash. As per usual i have the money fund sitting there but that is for like overseas, houses and babies ( :| yes i said babies. i plan on buying laptop :) )
but i didnt really NEED to buy a new digicam or an iriver, one thing i did need to buy is a new pair of sneakers. My sneakers at the moment have holes in them and are general ew and not at all good for the cold melbourne seasons.
and so what did i do? i went and bought a new pair of headphones instead of new shoes. WHATS UP WITH THAT?! i even have the new shoes picked out, but i got headphones instead?
I think i am officially a spazmoid who is shit with money.
plus saving for malaysia is killing me (im not really saving so much as drinking it away) and also the big round the world fund has been touched (stupid sydney costing so much) plus i now have been requested by the grandmother in sydney again, argh, plus i wanna buy nine inch nails tix for melbs and syd, and also Michael buble tix.

I NEED SOMEONE TO DO A BUDGET FOR ME!

oh and im desperate to get my hands on the new BEP cd. im digging the new trax! :D

*chants* must stop spending must stop spending must stop spending

i dont have a credit card so i guess thats something... but dang i want one. i would so buy some shoes if i had one and my socks would stop getting wet and grody.

ARGH!

what a shit rant. but hey i had to get it out there.

How do you guys save money? i see people with cool stuff and i wonder how they get it? do you have second jobs? do i need to get one? i have my RSA so i can bartender, should i do this? should i be allowed to have access to large quantities of alcohol?

:) im gonna do some work now.

from the kylie camp @ 4pm

The Frontier Touring Company, promoter of Kylie’s upcoming Showgirl Tour today confirmed that Kylie’s tour has been postponed due to health reasons.

The following statement was issued by Kylie’s management:

Whilst at home in Melbourne with her family this week prior to her Australian Showgirl Tour, Kylie was diagnosed with early breast cancer. She will undergo immediate treatment and consequently her Australian tour will not be able to proceed as planned.

Kylie said today “I was so looking forward to bringing the Showgirl tour to Australian audiences, and am sorry to have to disappoint my fans. Nevertheless hopefully all will work out fine and I’ll be back with you all again soon.”

Kylie’s Showgirl Tour was scheduled to tour Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth over the next month. Patrons should hang onto their tickets pending the announcement of new Showgirl dates.

Michael Gudinski and The Frontier Touring Company wish Kylie the speediest of recoveries.



OH NO KYLIE :(
this is terrible news.
Kylie i hope you get better soon. :(

*cry*

omfg

i have 2 new toys!!!!!!

yesterday while feeling the effects of the killer cold going round melbs at the moment, i went to JB and spent copious amounts of money to make myself feel better.
and did it work? HELL YES!!!!!

I am now the proud mother of an

Iriver H320 (the 20gig kind.. shut up i dont need 40gig)


and a Canon Ixus 40 (4mp...shut up i dont need 5mp. you can eat frozen pooch if you think i need 5mp.. like i print these pics anyways!!!! SHUT UP STOP YELLI... oh wait)

yes.. so a canon ixus 40. sik mate


i am terribly happy with these new additions to my life. My old camera was in dire need of an upgrade, and brotherben wanted a new camera so i gave it to him. and well, everyone else has a mp3 player and i didnt so i wanted one. ahh status anxiety.. how i love thee.

:)
so freakin happy right now.

I wrote a letter
9 pages still unfinished.

It's a Dear You,
Yet it was always to me.

Like a photograph couldn't capture that sunset,
These words will never capture this moment.

Well, what can I say.
Sydney is an escape, a surreal city that doesn't match anything normal to me back home.
In the 3 days I spent there I have learnt More about myself and my family than I do in a year back home with them.
I learnt that generations never really change, we do the same things our parent did and their parents before.
My grandmother never ceases to amaze me.
She has lead a life less ordinary. From taking benzene pills and staying up for days in coffee houses to plastering police station windows with communist leaflets.

She looks like my mother. The soft blonde hair (whitened with age), clear light coloured eyes and the milky white complexion that was completely lost on brotherben and I.
I stand next to my mother and grandmother and look like a stranger, yet I am more like them as each day passes.
Some children never want to be likened to their parents, but if I am like the women in my family than I am proud to be strong, somewhat crazed, independent, often absent minded but always fun as they are.

I am writing this in the airport terminal with a $3 pen. I wanted to write the emotion before I rebuilt them into memories.

Sydney is also home to some new school mates! Forging new bonds with people who live a distance away is at times quite difficult.

Astred, Craig, Ben, Lee, Terry, Pete and Ray. If I were a more polite and up front gal I would have said these things in person, but eh I aint! So here goes;
I sincerely thank you guys for the immensely fun times I have when I visit. I look forward to seeing you all and having the big crazy fun laughs.

Ray have a brilliant time away in the states! Pave the way over there so I have no choice but to follow you! :P

If i could give you back everything you have lost, i would.
I would move the world for it not to feel like it does.
No amount of words can ever make it better,
but know that i love you so much that my heart is breaking with yours.

Love Beck

HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY, SMG!
I heart you plenty.

ok so this is some serious content poaching. i nicked it from my fav site jason mulgrew.com I freaking love that guy. he is a hero; albeit a fat one.

anyways down to business. Amoungst my friends and i after a few nightcaps, we tend to talk about sex. like thats a shock. Often it comes down to us singlies who are talking, so its all about numbers and keeping score. (we arent the most deep people you could meet)
the topic of how many often comes up and so when i saw this formula, i spun out!
I havent as yet applied the formula to myself as that would require time, basic math skills, paper, pen, calculator and someone with a maths degree.

FORMULA

This is the formula [to determine the number of men a woman has slept with]:

(X / (H/W)) x S/5 x D/4 = # partners

Where:
H = height (in inches)
W = weight (in pounds)
S = sociability (1-10, with ten being most social)
D = drunkenness (1-10, with 10 being Christian Slater)
X = sexual multiplier (1-4, see scale below)

1 – Goes to church on Saturday if she has an obligation on Sunday, both parents are together, only child, active in the community, doesn't use profanity, has once exclaimed "There were people smoking marijuana cigarettes at that party!"

2 – Regularly attends church, knows how to flirt to get drinks, had her "crazy years" in college but still knows how to have fun, can talk about sex in a mixed group, has had boyfriends but mostly dates.

3 – After several drinks will either show you or let you feel her tits, tells funny sexual anecdotes, has slept with you or one of your friends and would do it again, Catholic but never attends mass.

4 – Abused as a child, may have had the name "beer-whore" in college, has had several sexual encounters in church, you know someone who has contracted HPV from her, if she were a sovereign state, head would be the currency.

The height/weight ratio doesn't vary too much when you play with the numbers. The extremes I came up with ranged from 0.4 to 0.6. Ratios of 5'0" 100 lbs and 6'0" 120 lbs came out to 0.6 on the thin extreme. Ratios of 5'0" 150 lbs and 6'0" 180 lbs came out to 0.4. Any range beyond these extremes and the formula becomes irrelevant (hey, God knows I've done my share of hogging, but 4'10" 170 is just not going to happen).

After seeing that a 0.2 differential in ratios doesn't skew the results, I realized that there had to be something more to add. The multiplier compounds the ratio and gives us a starting point. After that, the sociability and drunkenness variables are simply adjusters.

So, before I go into examples know this; your girls lied. Nine seems to be a very convenient (and popular) number when you ask around. What about the guys? I think we average more than nine. So how are we getting laid by more women? The 4's give up quite a few, but as you'll see below, the 2's and 3's are underestimating themselves a bit.

Average girl – X=2, H=64 (5'4"), W=140 (not what it says on your license), S=6, D=5
So, we get 2 / (64/140) x 6/5 x 5/4 = ~6.5 – not bad, but this is a good girl with medium social and drinking numbers.

Fun girl – X=3, H=64, W=140, S=8, D=6
3 / (64/140) x 7/5 x 7/4 = ~13.6 – ahh, now we have a number that is high, but very feasible.

How about Ms. Churchy O'Prissy (tall, skinny, stays in and has a glass of wine on special occasions) - X=1, H=68, W=120, S=3, D=2
1 / (68/120) x 3/5 x 2/4 = ~0.5 – raise one social/drinking number and you're at 1 partner.

Everyone's favorite girl, Thirsty McSlutty (I don't need to…) - X=4, H=62, W=150, S=8, D=9
4 / (62/150) x 8/5 x 9/4 = ~35 – don't start doubting the formula, remember that she's a drunk whore.

I guess you could adjust the social/drinking ratios as needed, but I think they work. This assumes the average girl is a 5 socially and 4 for drinking. Anything above that will raise your tendency to get laid, and vice versa. Any girl that is a 5 or a 6 for drinking, you know she drank like an 8 or 9 for at least one night and did the deed.

I also thought of incorporating her friends into the multiplier. How good are they at getting her home when she's drunk and dead set on hooking up? But, the damn thing was complicated enough.


I feel that the SEXUAL multiplier needs to be slightly amended. So here is my Aus version:

1 – Goes to church on Saturday if she has an obligation on Sunday, both parents are together, only child, active in the community, doesn't use profanity, has once exclaimed "There were people smoking marijuana cigarettes at that party!"

2 – Attends church on major holidays, knows how to flirt to get drinks, had her "crazy years" in UNIVERSITY but still knows how to have fun, can talk about sex in a mixed group, has had boyfriends but mostly dates.

3 – After several drinks will either show you or let you feel her tits, tells funny sexual anecdotes, has slept with you or one of your friends and would do it again.

4 – Abused as a child, may have had the name "CHEAP BEER WHORE" in UNIVERSITY, has had several sexual encounters in church CAR PARK, you know someone who has contracted STD from her, if she were a sovereign state, head would be the currency.

(ok so i didnt really edit it much cos im lazy, but you get the point. so MEH)

But the formula doesnt take into account a girls age. Which maybe i think it should. On average from gals i have spoken to (ok maybe this is just the 2 people i have spoken to about this) it seems that 13 is a tad too high for the average 25 year old to have slept with. Im thinking more along the lines of 6-10 is a generally a decent number. anything higher than a 10 and well, you dont be admitting that unless you are a supermodel or a tv celeb.

i plan taking this formula and seeing if age can be added into the equation. so stay tuned and if you have any input email me rebecca@flight49.com

Im kind of bored at the moment. I have not really much to talk about, or am willing to talk about here. Fair enough a blog is a place to vent etc but since alot of people (4) read this i dont wish to yabba on about them so if you want the inside goss, email me directly.

Of late i have been spending COPIOUS amounts of time on myspace. I LOVE IT.
here is my profile. so sign up and be my friend! EVERY PERSON COUNTS.

http://www.myspace.com/miss_rebecca

benclay got me into it, and i even think chucky started talking to me about it as well. i have a friendster profile but apparently thats not cool anymore. so its alla bout MYSPACE! so check it out, sign up, add me as a friend, and we can chat! also check out the madman group! haaha kickass.

something new that i like is JILA peppermints. i love them hardcore. They are like THE BEST. i usually have one pack in my car, in my bag and on my desk at work. i just munch away on them. I have currently run out on my desk and am thinking about walking to 711 to get more. or i will pick up a new pack on the way to comedy fest tonight.

I also love big red chewing gum. like alot. yum.
Cherry lips are also THE BEST CANDY! juby goodness. they arent too sweet and they taste like warm summer nights.

I am listening to alot of i guess emo/hardcore type music lately. again another thing i can blame on benclay, hass, scott and mattles. I have always like Funeral For a Friend but of late i REALLY like them. Also Hawthorne Heights and Underoath. I highly recommend checking out Underoath. VERY cool stuff.

Hawthorne Heights - Ohio is for lovers
Funeral for a friend - Juneau / rookie of the year
Underoath - reinventing your exit
Death from above 1979 - Blood on our hands

I think my new alcomahol for the minute has got to be bacardi. I am loving it. ALOT. vodka is my staple, but seriously i think bacardi could give it a run for its money. I seem to go out with the intention of just drinking my simple vodka cranberrys but if i step NEAR brunswick st, i become evil monster beck and hit the bacardi cocktails. eep. spending way too much money on booze lately! ARGH

I like the new IRIVER H10 alot. they look sleeky deek. pity its only 5gb and ihave way more prawn than that :P
so i think im going to have to buy a 20gb or 40gb H300. I have been working pretty hard lately saving up for a myriad of things, overseas, laptop, a new digicam, generally living large and now i *really* want one of these.
I think instead of the laptop i will buy a mp3 player, then the new digicam then go overseas and frankly who needs a laptop then? not me cos i will be too busy having a brilliant time to need to check myspace! hehehe

I have fallen back in love with buffy something nasty lately. I have been rewatching the entire thing again from season 1. I am up to season 5 now where she is in her second year of university and Dawn is her sister. I love going back and watching it all. I get to relive alot of the feelings when i first saw the eps. (and YES i know i wasnt a buffy fan from the beginning) but when i saw the eps the first time in slayerfests and what not. Thanks to The Boy who has leant me season 4 and season 7 which i do not own myself.
I think so far my favourite season is season2 and season4. I like the confusion and the difference in the eps. Even though Adam wasnt my favourite big bad i still really appreciate and can relate to some of the emotional storylines. I like the fact that they do all fall apart in that season but by the end they are all back together. the scooby gang. Its just so much like real life. You may have these people in your lives but you all take these dramatic different paths but you always come back to those people. it showed great loyalty and strength of the characters. its my fav as well cos of FEAR ITSELF. wikkid episode. best halloween one! and HUSH!
:)

plus the soundtrack for this season is by far the best. I HEART the scene where buffy is dancing with the frat boy! HAWT!!
also i love jonathan. in superstar he is just awesomeness.

I am also totally digging doing work for NEST COLLECTIVE at the mo. I really want to pour more of my time into it but of late due to work commitments, and general QLC (quarterlifecrisis) i havent been able to. Plus also flight49 is more the overdue for an overhaul. I started one awhile ago and i just lost all interest in it. I cant think what i want it to look like. or what i want to say. blame the QLC for that one.

phew. Who would have thought turning 25 would come laden with uber emotions? I certainly wasn't expecting it in Feb while i was daydreaming of the ultimate party and being 25 and finally a adult. (25 you can hire any car, so therefore ADULT!)
Last year, Nick and i went thru a bit of MENTAL MONTH, where all we did was go out and party *very* hard. I think it was July last year? I was having a bit of a breakdown about work, and he was just having a breakdown with life, and so i shared my breakdown with him.

So back to march, lets just say i have had the party of the year. Many thanks to some very sexy and awesome boys MATTLES AND BENCLAY! you guys are so rawkin. I think i told you guys a million and 1 times on the night that i cant believe i am back in your lives considering all that has happened. Im pretty sure i told cherie a few times! heh. :)
we consider it the party of the year as everyone had a massive and mental night, watching a showreel of photos of us and our mates over the years, listening to the best mix cds ever (the haven have still got em and still play em!) and drinking BEN, BECKS and MATTLES! so $300 later on my bartab i had a brilliant night.
Thanks to everyone who turned up!
The party didnt end then, i just kept powering on for another whole week! Ben visting from sydney, infront drinks, boozing on with libs, drinking with nick, comedy fest drinks, NEXT nightclubbin with the lads and so on and so on.

I hope no one got hurt in the crossfire that was beck turning 25. :)

we all had a semi permanent this weekend. awww d.u.d.e.
anyways, too much happened in such a SHORT amount of time. heres a few random snippets of things that happened:
a pole dancing lad on st pattys day, many jugs of beer, sleeping in bunk beds, hungover breakfasts with bad cereal, being extremely jealous of the speakers, watching Alex fall asleep during one of the talks, mass exodus during VICE MAG, more drinking, infronters partying on, astred and stickers, meeting new and very cool people, a bleary eyed morning walk, having a massage at david jones hungover and drinking on the plane on the way home.

it was too insane.
http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com

Standing on the edge of a cliff

The wind is blowing all around me. I can feel the chill on the wind of the darkening night.

I had nothing better to do, so i jumped.

Destiny and hope is what is keeping me warm. heh, bittersweet, if not a tad nauseating.

The other night i had dinner with libs and we had a few drinks and had a bit of a deep and meaningful. One point that came up was time really does fade alot of things. I can only remember certain things about certain people, i no longer am able to hear their voice, or acuratly be able to remember what their face looks like. My memories of people are not what they looked like, or how they sounded, but to what they made me feel,and what part of that person was so undeniably unforgettible. i now have the real memories.

A fleeting moment of how my tummy fluttered with a midnight kiss at a closed drive in, the bright yellow lino of the kitchen on a hot day when i was very young, fixing a car very late at night and calling radio request line and listening to a song over and over and over as my heart repaired itself.

A few breakup songs i have had, as horrible as they may be to admit, are what helped me get through some times. Train - drops of jupiter, Pete Murray - so beautiful, The cure - lovecats.
In a way, these songs hold such a strong place in my heart, they made me feel like tomorrow was going to be better, or that tomorrow would crash down on me and that my feelings were nothing compared to what was to come.

i sometimes wonder what breakup songs i have made people fall in love with?

new piccies of antheas kitchen tea is up: http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com/?entry=357484

piccies of Ross's trip to melbs: http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com/?entry=357508

Thanks to brad for listing me on australian infront. *swoon* me = famous
Being listed with other cool blogs/drogs such as daves site, robbies site and ben site is pretty darn cool. Those guys usually update more often then i do, with stuff far more wittier and interesting and relevant. Most of my crap is stuff that i do, and pretty much only my mates know what the heck i am on about.

anywho. LISTED! WIKKIDNESS

must turn off ciara now. go dang. this song is addictive.

PHOTO UPDATES (when i dont blog, i just post piccies of what i have been doing)
http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com

it has been quite awhile since an entry on the good ol flight49. I have
a few very crap excuses such as being hell busy at work, going out a
fair bit and just being a unsocialable ass and not wanting to share the
fun. All those excuses are valid to a point so cut me some slack.

Currently i am actually in the process of updating the site layout and look. cos at the moment, site = poochies. not cool all at. in the next few weeks a new layout will be rolled out, also easier access to the blog and easier for me to update so i dont become a sloth and not update.

WELL! Summer has been and now is in its final stages and rolling out. I had a fabbo summer this year. Jetsetting over to perth to see nicole for a mental 4 day bender that consisted of a Red VW beetle, drinking copious amounts of vodka and cointreau, a car accident, sun tanning, swimming in Versace sunglasses, george castanza and Usher pumping from the stereo. This girl is crazy. From go to woe, it was party and doing things. In those 4 days i saw alot of perth, we didnt leave the car! hanging at gorgeous Hillarys at her house, bouncing down to Scarborough and dancing at clubs around the city. Perth is def. a brilliant place and i can not wait to go back over there!

Christmas = turkeygate. No turkey. none, nada, zip. Brotherben and i went postal and in the end had to have oven bake chicken pieces from the depths of the freezer :( NOT HAPPY JAN

Big Day Out was very cool. Not a great line up but i was happy. Spent the morning selling our asses off for St Johns, then Benclay, collo, hass, libs and i all go to enjoy the day for free! huzzle!! Fav people on the bill Scribe and P Money, Concord Dawn with Sawx baby, Le Tigre and pretty much everyone in the boiler room. Got hell sunburnt though eeeep!!

and been pretty much working like a litle mad(wo)man (aw dude) and partying hard on fridays and saturdays.

Hi to ROSS (rosstacular or brisvegas boy) it was super nice to meet you. You were quite quiet but hell, it would be overwhelming to meet us all. but trust me when i say this, everyone thought you were ace and pretty much when you move down here you will be in the family. Welcome to our mafia :)



Anyways what can i say, the past month has been just a mess of work and
play. My head isn't even on very straight today and yet im at work and
beyond busy. I don't think at any point i have been so stressed. I'm not
a fan of stress, some people say stress makes you perform, forces you to
be the best you can be. you know the performance under pressure type
stuff. well i dont like it. I dont want to whinge about my job
as i know work people may come along and read this. I really do like my
job i just dont like unneccesary stress when it could have been avoided.
which is more than one time in the last month or two this all could have
been avoided with some preparation.
It does make your head wander though in times like this, makes me yearn
to travel and taste the world. You know the story, quit the job, travel
the world become the person you want to be, and then after a year or
two, resume the ratrace and then spend your days doing these menial jobs
knowing that you, like many before you, have seen all that can be
offered. im sure its all pipedream and im just whinging cos i am super
busy, extremely tired and in general run down.

wow. what a mega whinge. i need to suck it up and get the hell over it!

# posted by miss rebecca : 11:51 AM

i havent really had a lot to talk about lately, just been busy at work, trying to do as little as fk-ups as i can manage.
ooh I did actually go and see guy sebastian, which was a killer show! check out some piccies of the event here http://miss-rebecca.fotopages.com. I went with Brotherben, katies and Tanya. Katies liked the show so much she was lactating for at least 40 mins of it. However we were standing in the fan club section and i dont care what anyone says, no fan is as die hard or as scary than a pop music fan. you can keep your trekkies, star wars kids even your lord of the rings die hards, they ain't got nothing on the devotion, fervour, and pure LUST for their chosen pop idol. I was shocked and frightened. im a big fan of many a pop stars but these people are INSANE.

just a quick note now to the moving out of home kids. Nick, Anthony and Linda. all flying the nest and moving out. Nick to Brunswick and Linda and Anthony to Richmond. (hmm stealing my surburb!!) well congrats kiddies for making the leap. i am yet to do it as i am a gianormous leech. i leech good. hasnt let me down yet.
im sure you guys will all love it, but if i hear any bitching and whinging about no going out cos you have to pay rent well i will be a UBER bitchie-mo and not put up with it. :)
so just a friendly warning from your local crazy friend! WELCOME TO THE INNER BURBS!

i love thailand. i thought it was great. robbie a mate also likes it. he has a blog called Your man on the ground and it pretty much is him talking about life in tikitiki thailand. (i dont know why i say tikitiki i just do ok!)
Robbie if you ever read this i LOVE lychee gum! if you send me some i will send more vegemite, porn and chocolate!


robbie is cool.

Song: Goldfinger - my girlfriend's shower sucks

this song makes me think of wibbie.
he fully, without a doubt rocked.

wibbie and a glass of haigs
:)
----------------------------------------------
Song: The Shins - Caring is creepy
A great band that just get more and more fabulous with each time i listen to them.
But this one song makes me think of Ben in sydney. I think he msn'd the song to me to listen to, and i was hooked. I sent it to brotherben as a testament to the songs coolness.
----------------------------------------------
death cab for cutie, is the driving in the civic feeling like the loneliest gal on earth. but dang its cool
----------------------------------------------
SONG: Shapeshifter - lolas theme
I love this song. sumnmer, fun, drinking, dancing, bright colours, sand in my shoes, sunkissed cheeks, sunglasses tan....
SUMMER GET HERE ALREADY!
----------------------------------------------
Song: Agadoo
5 words - Lauren, Brotherben and coreographed dancing
----------------------------------------------

thats all the cool songs i can think of for now.
i've also eaten 7 pieces of cinnamon listerine strips.
:)

I had the worst dream last night. it was horrifying and it made me wake up with a blood nose. I kid you not. I don't ever get blood noses but obviously this dream was sent to me as a message and was backed up with the drying crust of blood on the rim of my nostril, and the metal taste in the back of my throat.

I dreamt a person came into my life, and was my boyf. This person also had moved into my garage at my old house in ringwood (I also lived back home in this dream) and for some reason i couldnt remember how this person became such a significant in my life. I asked him how and he got mad, and then i asked why considering we hadn't even kissed before, and he told me he didn't kiss me as he didn't want to end up being blogged about. I told him that it wasn't going to work and that we should break up. I offered him a lift to the servo near my house where he proceeded to get out of the car, take a snow shovel that was located handily and proceed to smash my windsheild (this was in the laser too, not the civic) with the shovel and then attempt to attack me. I drove off post haste, with such an overwhelming sense of relief even though my car had been smashed up by someone who moved into my garage and had a fear of being blogged about.

Shovel
To see a shovel in your dream, suggests that you are seeking your self-identity, knowledge, insight, and inner intellect. You are on a quest for a new understanding of your waking life and true Self. Alternatively, you may be trying too hard in finding the truth to a problem.

Today is